Acceptance, part 2

BABBLE-ON
Scott Donald Sanderlin
Comments/Correspondence to:
sunfoof
(C) MMV

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Wow, now I am thankfully past the moments encompassing my fear and despair as evidenced in that last post. That was a hard day, but a valuable lesson. The beauty of which is I learned something so germaine to the release of that pain that I can now look at those emotions and deal with them instead of compartmentalizing them. This is not to say that I have fully appreciated the depth and breadth of these feelings, but I'm more prepared to face their reality in reasonable increments. As I accept these emotions, and choose to act appropriately on them under the guidance I trust, I'm able to process them into experience rather than baggage.

So out with the old, in with the new. Man, does the Universe have a way of surprising me! Every day I'm introduced to yet another episode in my life's series of fortunate events. 2005 has begun with no exception to this rule. I was very pleasantly surprised to welcome into our home a guest whom I hadn't expected to see anytime soon. Yet, hearing her tell me she could visit this weekend left me feeling I'd surely mistaken what I heard. No, the mistake was in letting outdated thinking patterns run with this notion. Sure, I'd been egging her on to make a visit. But knowing the circumstances of the holidays and family obligations - not to mention the parameters of our platonic relationship - I didn't feel remiss about doubting that I would see her for New Year's.

Again I'd fooled myself, even though the Universe spelled its reality plainly and simply. I suppose I didn't want to believe that my fortune could be that good. Perhaps I fear good fortune and, consequently, settle for less. In this case, though, the Universe had an unquestionable blessing for me to witness. Not only was she positively coming to visit, but she bumped her visit day up to New Year's Eve. What?!? I ask myself incredulously and know only that I'm supposed to enjoy each moment fully, appreciating and recognizing the simple joy life - the Universe - has to offer. Here, I am given the opportunity to accept that the Universe does provide for me.

Now, as I finish this entry, I think warmly to myself that this girl - this young lady whom I care for ... this girl is sleeping in our home. She is safe, she is sound, she is beautiful and she places trust in her hosts tonight, to watch over her and give her comfort. There is my simple joy to accept, a joy provided to me by the Universe, the same Universe which led me safely through those grey fields of bitter despair. Despair which, today I choose to learn to accept as equally as I accept the blessing.

Soon both experiences will be gone, but not likely forgotten. And if my memory ever falters, I'll still have these words to read to recall them by. I am grateful for this and for all blessings provided to me through the machinations of the Universe. Sweet dreams, Sunshine!

Thanks for reading. Namaste.

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To live is to wonder.
To wonder is to live.
sds