W t F'n F ? ?

BABBLE-ON
Scott Donald Sanderlin
Comments/Correspondence to:
sunfoof
(C) MMV

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Some days, as far as I'm concerned they can all just pick a cheek and kiss it . . . I've got four, so there shouldn't be much difficulty finding one that suits them. Whaddya mean, who are they or them? You're probably one of them, at least for right now. I'd just as soon pick a fight with anybody as try to find the "high road". Hell, that's all I used to know, the high road. Every time I felt like this, I'd get high because I couldn't handle thinking anymore about whatever was bothering me. At least I didn't go get high over it this time . . . if no one will say it to me, then I'll just reassure myself . . . at least I didn't pick up.

See, that's something my new people would understand, at some level. I mean, we all have days like this. I am not an emotionally mature person - at least not yet - I have a long way to go. But for now, I'm just glad I'm home, only a phone call away from my very good friend and mentor. I'm gonna call him in a little while, too. Why is it "normal" people can't just say that, too, "Hey, I'm sorry you had a bad day. I wish you didn't feel so down. Best of all, you didn't pick up over it." Huh? Is that so hard? I realize it's an expectation, and that expecting things from people . . . even "normal" people who have their shit together . . . is a mistake. Mostly "normal" people have all this advice about what I need to do, and what I should do, when all I need is a hug - verbally or physically. Why the hell do you think we hug so much in meetings? Anyway, I'm human, and am allowed a mistake now and again. I'll keep going back to where I'm understood and where I'm learning to understand. Best of all, I didn't pick up over it.

Thanks for reading. Namaste.

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To live is to wonder.
To wonder is to live.
sds